Live.Love.Laugh.Inspire

Please ignore the following...
 
I hate how you've forgotten me
I hate how you've left me on my own after you promised you'd be there for me
I hate how we don't even begin conversations
I hate how even if we do, we never even finish a conversation these days because you've obviously got better people to talk to
I hate how you told me you still counted me as your best friend
I hate how you lie to me
I hate how you use me
and most of all I hate myself because it's so obvious how much I miss you
 
You've completely ripped me in half I'm so glad you're happy but it kills me inside that it's her you're happy with, I don't think you even recognize that the only thing that's got me through all this is that thought that at least your're happy. If I had one fucking wish I hate that I'd waste it on you
 
I stuck with you through so much, your bullshit and your negative shit and the crap you used to come up with and I know I wasn't perfect and I got mad at you for stupid little things but I always forgave you, and I hate that I still do, I don't even tell you how mad I am at you
 
You don't get how much it upsets me that it only took you two days to forget I existed and then the reason you spoke to me again today was that you needed help, why do you use me like this? and then what upset me even more was that when you asked me for help then didn't even bother to listen what I had to say. You don't talk to me for fucking months and then I don't even get a fucking hello, just a "ella I need help :(" and about your fucking girlfriend at that. I could have totally flipped out on you just like I wanted to and told you what I want to, say what I've been dying to fucking tell you, but no I put everything aside to help you because I always do, every stupid fucking time and I don't even know why, because you treat me like shit. And you don't even bother to listen to what I've got to say, and that kills me inside, it's one of those times when you can literally feel the pain in your heart.
 
I miss the old days when we could talk about anything and everything, when I wasn't scared to be unhappy in front of you, I miss how we used to talk every day and how it used to make me smile so much
 
Please come back...
...Before I have to run away

I'll write this another time.
 
| I guess now is as good a time as ever to write this, at least I'm feeling calmer now.
 
*Major rant beginning*
 
There is only really 1 guy in my life, its been like that for a while if I'm honest.
I loved him.
He loved me.
We dated.
Then we were best friends.
Then friends.
And then he forgot I existed, because he'd found someone new and I just faded out of his life like I hadn't even been there before, like I'd never made a difference or made him smile when he was feeling down, that he promised he'd take me to Paris, I guess he won't have to take me after all eh?
When he first stopped talking it was like half of me was missing and I didn't even know where to turn, I didn't sleep at night and my damn head would shut up about him, then came the constant checking of my phone, and the wanting that came with it, always getting my hopes up only to let myself down, in reality it was foolish but then all I could think about was maybe one day he would remember I existed, and the cruel reality of that is that he never did. Ever
 
When he found someone new, yeah that was painful and it cut deep, but after a few months I got over it,as long as he is happy, thats what I kept telling myself, it took some time but I guess I was putting things right in my head and I was even sort of moving on.
 
and then (I don't even know how to word this) I was put back in touch with him, and now everything has come back because I wasn't prepared and I really didn't need it. I didn't know it was possible to love someone so much yet hate them equally but thats how I feel about him. The reason I'd never tried contacting him is because it bothers him and yeah he'll remember I exist but it will be for a week max and then I'll have to go though the grieving process all over again, I don't even want to think about how much this has set me back ):
 
I'm sorry I couldn't explain this to your faces, you know who you are

Well this is the first set I've made in a while :/ Sorry I haven't really been around but I've had no inspiration, its just all gone.
 
I actually can't wait for summer, to be free from everything is what I'm wishing for. ☮ ✌
 
**Boring passage about my life alert**
 
Sorry but I just need to get this out I guess :/ Currently the pressure is getting to me so much more than normal and I don't even know why but increasing the pressure is just rippling on to everything else, I feel anti social, I don't want to read, I'm avoiding food more and more and everything is just getting worse.I nearly fainted today and I don't even know why, normally I'm so in control of my body so this scares me :'(
 
I hate change. I hate not being in control of myself.

Basically for round 4 of Hipsters Do It Better :) I've never done anything like this before so I hope it looks ok :)

This is just my personal bucket list for 2012, just stuff I really ought to achieve :3 I hope you enjoy getting to know me a little better haha :L Godere! (Italian)

This is for HDIB batte i had to use -
 
http://www.polyvore.com/dreaming_fields_cream/thing?id=13405733
 
This was sort of meant to be foresty with a floral theme :L

This is basically a collection of picture of woods and forests :) they're one of my favorite places to be :3 <3

Off to the new forest this weekend, tbh Ive really been looking forward to going away, I need to get away from where I am.
 
Anyway I'll be unleashing my new found love for photography on the forest so hopefully I'll have something up on tumblr soon :)
 
http://dream-catchers-tent.tumblr.com/

Well basically I made this for round two of Hipsters do it better
 
I really like winter and as its December I guess winter sets are allowed :P